Malaise.

Life is really dull right now
As if there is nothing else left to look forward to
Much like a record player that's stuck,
Playing the same tune over and over again.
There was a time when I liked the music
Now, It's become exasperating
Keeps getting my nerves
I'm jaded.
Agitated.
And malaise with its smug face is dancing around me in circles.
Logic is seated inside my brain.
Serenading.
Telling me it's just a phase
Momentary and transient
I believe it
I do
Things will change.
How though? No clue.
I keep stumbling over the outstretched
Lassitudinous limbs of malaise;
I find it everywhere.
On my breakfast plate,
In the clattering of cutlery,
Between the pages of my books,
Inside my wardrobe,
In the very air that I breathe.
I wonder if I am the only one to feel this way. If not, how does any other being cope with such a feeling?

I sit on a rocking chair in my balcony unaware of the falling rain,
My eyes wander
And become fixated on
The drops of water rolling down the edges of a line
Haven't you noticed those drops?
The ones coasting along wires or branches of trees,
One following another after a heavy downpour
Then dropping into oblivion
I guess this is my right now
As bleaks as those drops
As dull and prosaic
I guess I'm just going with the flow
Giving in to gravity
Giving in to destiny
Now knowing where I'll be led
Unaware of the road ahead
And malaise stills prevails.
But maybe one of those drops will find their way
Into the hands of soft greens leaves
Or into the lap of a pretty flower
And from there
Evaporate and escape into the air,
Find a new form, a new meaning.
Not caged, Not shrunk.
Free to go anywhere, Be anything.
Fly high up into the clouds.
Not to become the rain again.
Maybe this time precipitate into the snow.
Or just roam around and merge with the winds that blow
Maybe visit the sea.
Be the things I've always wanted to be.

Yes,
Life will one day be free.
Free from this humdrum routine.

One day
Till then,
I continue staring at those drops.
And malaise continues spinning in perfect pirouettes.